About two years ago I emotionally had enough. My job was ripping me apart and I demanded too much from myself. I had panic/anxiety attacks all the time, everywhere. I was scared to go anywhere for the fear of having more panic. With the support of my kick-ass family and great friends, I moved forward very quickly. I also sought the advice of a spiritual counsellor, who taught me the benefits of breathing and taking your mind away from the negative.
It's crazy how all of that slips away with the fast pace of life. I have truly lost sight of it again.
Since being laid-off, I have taken up sessions with Mr. Counsellor. Yesterday was my 2nd session and it was a massive turning point for me. Since the 17th of April, life has provided me a lot of time. You would think that with the vastness of time would come feelings of joy and freedom. Not so. In fact, I cannot recall a time where I have ever had all of this empty time around me. It sets you up for boredom, a lack of structure and loneliness. I have been in the Hamilton area for almost a year now and have made a few friends, through work. Although I love to meet new people, I think I have been scared to put myself out there, to make strong connections and this certainly needs to change. I also believe that having all the time in the world gives me time to dwell on my panic and it continues to blossom into more of an issue.
I am a planner, a do-er and a person that lives for structure. Losing it means that I need to lasso it back in and take control. It will not be an overnight process, but it will happen. Last night I made the decision that for once and for all, I am going to yoga. I have always wanted to go and I know it will be beneficial in a multitude of ways. Why the hesitation? Do it now. Do it now. Do it now. (I am going, Shona!)
That is the start of my plan. I will pop in here from time to time and talk about "The Plan". It will be a journey and I like those. I believe that being open and honest is important and it can be helpful to those around you. I also believe that mental health is key and it largely goes ignored or there is a stigma behind it. I am certain that many people medicate themselves too early without trying to attack the root of the problem.
I found this helpful and am revisiting it.
- I loved my two-day blogging stint at The Claw. Lesson learned: It is much harder to write on someone else's blog even when you know that nothing is off limits! blondie-lox is kickin' it Claw-style today, so please check it out! A shout-out to Sherri (keeper of The Claw): I really do hope that your green Saab wagon is free from "Are we there yets?", but full of fun! Cannot wait to hear/see your travels!
- The mister and I are going to get a 2nd opinion on Miss Molly Cat. I have been doing some of my own research, because that's what I do. I am no vet, but the blister in her ear is more conducive to a hematoma than melanoma. Two completely different scenarios. She is doing really well and she wants everyone to know that she is not ill, but a very happy cat. She and her mum (that's me!) thank everyone for their advice and thoughts!
- The root canaled tooth is coming along. No pain meds for 1.5 days now, but still on the antibiotics. Thank goodness, because I almost got the cordless drill and the pliers out and went to work.
Happy Tuesday, all.
And thanks for reading...